Ziva and McGee?
by DarthAbby
Summary: Tony hears what he thinks are sexual activities between Ziva and McGee. Oneshot. I don't own NCIS, if I did, Tony and Ziva would be together by now and Jenny wouldn't have died.


Tony yawned widely as he stepped off of the elevator. He had barley slept last night. Hell, he'd barley slept since the day he'd realized he was in love with Ziva David. Every night he would lay awake and imagine the feel of her arms wrapped around him as she slept, of the feel of her long dark hair cascading over his abs as she laid her head on his chest, of her muscular, beautiful body curled up next to his. He was half asleep still when he heard something that snapped him wide-awake.

"Ow, ow! McGee, stop moving! My hair is caught in your zipper!" he heard Ziva say. He froze. Her hair was caught in his zipper? 'Jeez,' Tony thought, still out of sight of the team, 'Ziva and McProbie?'

"Sorry, sorry!" he heard McGee say, slightly alarmed.

"Hand me those scissors, please. A few inches off a little bit of hair isn't a problem." Ziva instructed. A second later, Tony heard the faint _snip snip_ of scissors cutting. As soon as it stopped he entered the bullpen. As perverted as he could be, Tony did not, under any circumstances, want to see his teammates like _that_.

"Oh, hello Tony." Ziva greeted him casually.

"Ziva, Probie." Tony nodded as he sat down at his desk. McGee was already working away at his computer and Ziva was now conversing rapidly in French on the phone. He started working, trying to push what he had just heard out of his mind.

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"Excuse me, Anthony." Ducky said as he crouched own between Tony and the body he had just snapped a photo of. They had just started working a crime scene in a park, where a marine in full desert gear had recently been stabbed. Ducky examined the wound now as Tony took a few more pictures of the body.

"Crap." He muttered when the low battery light blinked on the camera. He must have forgotten to plug it in last night. Maybe he could barrow Ziva's.

He was walking towards the truck when it started rocking back and forth. He could hear Ziva and McGee inside yelping and gasping. 'Okay, that's just disgusting. I mean really, at an active crime scene!' Tony thought as he quickly headed the other way.

He dug through his bag franticly and sighed with relief when he found a spare battery. No way was he going to ask McGee or Ziva for their cameras right now! And Gibbs would be mad at him for not charging his last night, so he couldn't ask him. What he had heard that morning and what he had just heard haunted him for the rest of the day.

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"It was unbelievable Abby! I mean, McGee is scared stiff of angry Gibbs and even Ziva wouldn't do something like that under Gibbs's nose. It was just plain wrong." Tony said as he told the forensic scientist what he had heard yesterday. Abby's eyes were as big as half-dollars at hearing what her co-worker's were up to when they thought nobody was around.

"You look like you have seen a goat Abby." Ziva said as she and McGee walked into the lab.

"Ghost, Ziva, not goat." Tony corrected her automatically. "And actually, we were talking about you two and what gross things you were up to yesterday."

"What gross things?" McGee looked genuinely confused.

"Don't give us that innocent act, McGee! Tony heard you in the morning and at the crime scene!" Abby said.

"Heard what?" Ziva looked confused too.

"Your hair was caught in McGee's zipper yesterday morning!" Tony said to Ziva. She laughed.

"His coat zipper Tony, not his pants! I was working at my desk and he leaned over to help me with some calculations with his jacket still on. My hair got tangled in the zipper." She chuckled as she explained. McGee held out his jacket and they saw the dark hairs still caught in the zipper.

"Okay, so you have an excuse for that, but what about at the crime scene! I saw the truck rocking back and forth and heard you two yelping and gasping!" McGee's jaw dropped and then he started laughing. Ziva joined in as he started to explain.

"I opened my water bottle before I got out of the back and Ziva accidentally knocked it out of my hands. It spilled everywhere and we both fell. We kept falling as we tried to clean it up, and that floor is really hard and painful." He got out between the laughter that kept bubbling up. "You seriously thought we were having _sex_, Tony? Please. I don't like Ziva that way."

"And I feel the same way about McGee." Ziva put in, still laughing. Abby started giggling and soon, even Tony was chuckling. Their merriment was put to an end however, when Gibbs walked in.

DiNozzo, McGee, David!" THWACK, THWACK, THWACK. "Get back to work!"

They scurried off to the elevator with a chorus of "yes, boss!" Gibbs turned to Abby, still trying to smother her giggles.

"You too! Or do I have to head slap you?"

"But Gibbs! You've never head slapped me!"

"Exactly. Now go, and see what Major MasSpec brings up." He left the lab as Abby hurried to check on her machines.

The elevator dinged as it slid open. Someone was already inside.

"Hey Jethro." She purred as she pulled him in and the doors shut.

"Hey Jen." He smiled as he flicked the emergency off switch and engaged her in a long, slow, deep kiss.


End file.
